< Shariq> At the nuke plant I used to work at, we used to eat lunch at the cafeteria practically every day, because it was too much of a hassle to go off site.
< Shariq> And at the end of the grill line, they had a counter for condiments and seasonings.
< Shariq> One of those seasonings was a mixture of spices
< Shariq> It was called "Slap Ya Momma"
< Jimmy> lol
< Shariq> and it said "Tastes so good it'll make you wanna slap ya momma"
< Jimmy> the sad thing, is I was actually on the edge of my seat for that punch line
< Shariq> http://www.slapyamama.com/
<@djpretzel> Also available in Oedipal "Tap Ya Momma" flavor!
<@djpretzel> And "It's a Trap Ya Momma!" Star Wars limited commemorative edition
<@djpretzel> Not to be confused with "Slap Yo-yo Ma!", the delicious organic spread for cellist afficionados everywhere!
< Shariq> david lloyd you are a funny guy
<@djpretzel> THANK YOU
<@djpretzel> be here all week
<@djpretzel> really will
<@Houstonbachi> my friend went to the hospital for stomach problems once and they were like "oh you have AIDS"
<@Houstonbachi> and he was like "wait wut? that's like impossible"
<@Houstonbachi> "no seriously, AIDS"
<@Houstonbachi> "did you run a test?"
<@Houstonbachi> "well no, but you have AIDS"
<@Houstonbachi> "maybe you should run a test"
<@Houstonbachi> "OK whatever but you have AIDS"
<@Houstonbachi> a few weeks pass
<@Houstonbachi> "so about that test"
<@Houstonbachi> "I never said you had AIDS"
<+ella_guroo> starla feels competitive with other booties
<+starla> i'm appreciating.
<+starla> artists should look at other artists work
<+ella_guroo> true
<+starla> owners of exquisite butts should revel in the mastery that is the booty
<+starla> j-lo's was never that big
<+starla> but imo it paved an important path to larger butts
<+ella_guroo> it was the rosa parks of celebrity booty
<+starla> hear hear
<&Colonel_Skills> most respectable racing games have a collision off setting
<&Colonel_Skills> PGR and forza had that
<&Colonel_Skills> which is funny to switch on randomly and watch people take corners heavy and try to get you
<&Colonel_Skills> only to fly right through you and off the track
<&Colonel_Skills> fuckin sweet
<&Colonel_Skills> assault horizon legacy is awesome
<&Colonel_Skills> horray namco redeemed
<@CHz> So how many bad Ace Combat games does it cancel out?
<&Colonel_Skills> considering there was only the one...uhh...one?
<&Colonel_Skills> well that's not true
<&Colonel_Skills> there was two
<&Colonel_Skills> so two
<@a_lurker> what if the one after is bad?
<@a_lurker> does it retroactively cancel out a third bad game?
<&Colonel_Skills> Nope
<&Colonel_Skills> series could be completely ruined again we'll see
<@a_lurker> That's kind of a bummer.
<@a_lurker> That they couldn't make a game so good that it makes you forgive future sins.
<@a_lurker> Kind of makes you feel hopeless, in a way.
<@a_lurker> Like you always have to be "on", never afforded any mistakes.
<@a_lurker> brb cutting myself :(
* a_lurker also: crawling in my skin
<&Colonel_Skills> nah, you don't always have to be on
<&Colonel_Skills> you just have to
<&Colonel_Skills> y'know
<&Colonel_Skills> not get up on stage
<@a_lurker> done and done.
<@a_lurker> if you never try, you never fail.
<@a_lurker> got it.
<&Colonel_Skills> try singing Carmen
<&Colonel_Skills> and then accidentally shit your pants
<&Colonel_Skills> and then AFTER accidentally shitting your pants
<&Colonel_Skills> getting down and eating the shit
<@a_lurker> wait what.
<&Colonel_Skills> and then trying to sing with a mouthful of gargle shit
<@a_lurker> I don't like where this went.
<@a_lurker> I don't want to eat shit! :(
<&Colonel_Skills> that's how bad assault horizon console asshole edition was
<&Colonel_Skills> shit gargling opera
<@a_lurker> that's horrible.
<&Colonel_Skills> it was horrible
<&Colonel_Skills> thus
<&Colonel_Skills> redeemed?
<@a_lurker> For now.
<&Colonel_Skills> indeed
<&Colonel_Skills> for now
<&Colonel_Skills> nintendo now needs to redeem metroid and all will be well
<&Colonel_Skills> that one was like curling up into my own private morph ball, naked, and then gagging on my dick, but WHILE gagging getting punched in the jaw so hard that I bit my cock off and then choked to death on it
<&Colonel_Skills> that's how bad it was
<@a_lurker> No I know that's how bad it was.
<&Colonel_Skills> I think the one thing I get the most hands on play time with is my colour changing hot wheels
<&Colonel_Skills> in hot water it's white, in cold water it's red
<&Colonel_Skills> I use it as a shower thermometer
<&Colonel_Skills> OK IT IS SAFE AND WARM IN THIS SHOWER YOU CAN GET IN NOW
<@a_lurker> I use my foot.
<&Colonel_Skills> but you can't make vroom vroom noises with your foot and drive it all over the soap
<Colonel_Skills> well
<Colonel_Skills> I was gonna go out, get groceries
<Colonel_Skills> put on a parka
<Colonel_Skills> mitts
<Colonel_Skills> toque
<Colonel_Skills> boots
<Colonel_Skills> get outside
<Colonel_Skills> "man it's cold"
<Colonel_Skills> ::realize forgotten pants::
<Colonel_Skills> "well, shit"
<+ElectricSheep> Oh yeah, on Sunday I'm gonna head down to punkin chunkin.
<+ElectricSheep> Kari, Tory, and Grant are there this year.
<@a_lurker> you better get righteously drunk on punkin beer
<@CHz> And then molest one of them.
<@CHz> But don't tell us which one ahead of time.
<@CHz> Let us guess.
<@a_lurker> $20 on Tory
<+ElectricSheep> Molest Kari
<+ElectricSheep> Drink Grant under the table.
<+ElectricSheep> And punch Tory in the taint.
<@a_lurker> fuck
<@a_lurker> unless he's into that
<@a_lurker> in which case SCORE
<@CHz> new game: molest, drink under the table, punch in the taint
<@CHz> lurker: Churchill, FDR, Stalin
<@a_lurker> OOH.
<+Dullenplain> tough choices
<@a_lurker> molest stalin, drink Churchill under the table, and punch FDR
<@a_lurker> FDR is my boy but young Stalin is hot and drunk Churchill must be a hoot
<+ElectricSheep> You would punch a cripple.
<+ElectricSheep> You are a horrible person.
<@a_lurker> gotta make my choices.
<+Lukas> I remember, he actually got caught jerking it in the bathroom once
<+Lukas> which would've been fine except unfortunately he then got caught a second time like only a week later
<+Lukas> and then a few weeks after that, he randomly lost like all his teeth (it was maybe 7th grade)
<+Lukas> and so someone graffiti'd "MASTURBATION CAUSES TOOTH LOSS" on the bathroom
<@CHz> I broke my DS today.
<@CHz> So I guess I have a reason to pick up a 3DS now.
<+Diss> Oh wait, MML3 cancelled?
<+Diss> Reason over.
<+Diss> lolol
<@CHz> Man I heard about that.
<@CHz> So shocking it made people mad.
<@CHz> On the internet!
<&Colonel_Skills> the only thing shocking about it was "wow, Capcom can somehow get worse"
<&Colonel_Skills> Being THAT shit is sort of a new thing for them. Not that they usually aren't, but sinking to a level so low that even mo0 doesn't suck by comparison to you then you're simply doing it wrong.
<&Colonel_Skills> AAI2, Unfinished MvC3 with super MvC 3 announcement 4 months later, CAN'T DELETE SAVE, now CAN'T PLAY MML3 PROTOTYPE NEENER NEENER
<&Colonel_Skills> I think the next thing will be "bring capcom game into house, it sprouts little arms and legs and tries to burn your house down".
<&Colonel_Skills> Resident Arsonist 4: Re-re-re-re-released, now with HD lighter
<+Sim|Sleep> what is this Unfinished MvC3 you speak of?
<&Colonel_Skills> MvC3 is about as complete as a BLT missing the B and the L.
<+Sim|Sleep> so basically, the game re-released with more characters and slightly modified move-sets for the oldies?
<&Colonel_Skills> well, the one that'll be at comic-con will have some new mechanic from tatsunoko.
<&Colonel_Skills> dunno if combo breaker or what
<&Colonel_Skills> if combo breaker, game will turn to dark phoenix lollin' even MORE
<&Colonel_Skills> doesn't matter though, the new one won't have a proper event mode either, and you'll have to buy each shadow battle individually for a million dollars
<+Sim|Sleep> you already have to buy each individual shadow battle.
<+Sim|Sleep> which, I didn't even bother with.
<&Colonel_Skills> yes, but they aren't actually a million dollars, see
<&Colonel_Skills> the fact that they are ANY DOLLARS is quite bullshit but I'm expecting just more of them for the next one.
<&Colonel_Skills> I fear that something slimey is going to work it's way into 3rd strike
<&Colonel_Skills> since they've talked about DLC for it. How the fuck do you add DLC to a game that old and that pretty-god-damn-close to flawless
<+Sim|Sleep> I dunno, man.
<+Sim|Sleep> if anything, just more trials and challenges.
<&Colonel_Skills> 5 bucks for chun-li
<&Colonel_Skills> 4 for ken
<&Colonel_Skills> rest of characters 30 cents for all
<+Sim|Sleep> less than 15 right there.
<&Colonel_Skills> no no, game itself is 15 dollars
<&Colonel_Skills> the CONTENT is ala carte
<&Colonel_Skills> oh god now I feel sick
<&Colonel_Skills> even joking about it
<@CHz> Super moves are an optional upgrade.
<&Colonel_Skills> ahaha
<&Colonel_Skills> you have to set up a preauthorized transaction for capcom, as every time you build a full meter they charge you 30 cents
<&Colonel_Skills> oh fucccccccccck
<+Sim|Sleep> heh. EX moves like crazy.
<&Colonel_Skills> nope, EX moves are a nickel
<@CHz> You only get a license for five shoryukens a match. Any more and you have to pay the overage rate.
<&Colonel_Skills> you can buy cheap bulk licenses for ul.....dammit
<+Sim|Sleep> hahahaha.
<+Sim|Sleep> 5 wouldn't be enough for the masters who pull 2 light Shoryukens in a single combo.
<+Sim|Sleep> moneymaker right there for Capcom.
<&Colonel_Skills> ahaha
<&Colonel_Skills> A PENNY A PARRY
<&Colonel_Skills> ::hobjillionaires::
<&Colonel_Skills> there was a new strip club here, deni
<&Colonel_Skills> actually
<&Colonel_Skills> opened like 4 months ago, give or take
<&Colonel_Skills> went there
<&Colonel_Skills> girl was on stage, started handing out these remote controls.
<&Colonel_Skills> I was confused as fuck but her, she then brings out these fucking remote control monster trucks
<&Colonel_Skills> and they had giant dildos strapped to the front of them
<&Colonel_Skills> basically during her routine we got to drive the truck dongs around and poke her with them
<&Colonel_Skills> not even making this up
<&Colonel_Skills> this was actually awesome
<+Mo0> i think you are
<+Juanzen> kinda wish you were
<+Mo0> there is no fucking way
<+Zephyrin> wtf
<&Colonel_Skills> there was no dong in her hoohoo if that's what you're asking
<&Colonel_Skills> but truck dongs did poke her pretty much everywhere else yes
<+Mo0> Skills you are a horrible liar.
<+Denicalis> Bahahaha.
<&Colonel_Skills> also mo0 I wish
<&Colonel_Skills> I WISH
<&Colonel_Skills> honest to god
<&Colonel_Skills> but on the flipside
<&Colonel_Skills> that bitch got a lot of tip money
<&Colonel_Skills> so it worked out for her
<+Xerol> i could go for a house of waffles right now
<+Xerol> like an actual house
<+Xerol> built of waffle
<+Xerol> helicopter all dropping syrup
<+Xerol> it's windy so it misses and hits the orphanage
<+Xerol> 80 hungry orphans die of diabetes
<+Xerol> meanwhile my waffles are dry
< Xerol> i think i just came up with the worst thing microsoft could ever do
< Xerol> click here to proceed to Windows Live Driver Marketplace where you can purchase drivers with microsoft points
< Xerol> *use of drivers not signed by Windows Live Driver Marketplace could result in the invalidation of your windows product code
< Lukas> Speaking of which, I just introduced andy and jill to uncharted2, theyre totally hooked now :)
<+sixto> wow they hadnt played it before?
-!- zircon [aaversa@c-76-98-32-78.hsd1.pa.comcast.net] has joined #ocremix
-!- mode/#ocremix [+o zircon] by ChanServ
< Lukas> They had the game for months before taking it out of the wrapping
< Lukas> Ah speak of the devil
<@zircon> haha
<@zircon> was just logging on to use mirc's $calc thing... plaintext calculator
<+Diss> Pancreas: Helps stomach to digest fat. Secretes gall.
<+Diss> Oh COME ON.
<+Dullenplain> that's a huge miss
<+a_lurker|laptop> read that as 'secretes jail'
<+a_lurker|laptop> was all ???????
<+Dullenplain> gaolbladder
<+Diss> Haha
<+Diss> GOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALbladder
<+Diss> AHAHAHAHA
<+Diss> "Distinguish between true, false, and floating ribs."
<+Diss> "True ribes are the main set of ribs that are attached to the sternum"
<+Diss> Okay so far so good.
<+Diss> "Floating ribs are the last two ribs that aren't attached to the sternum and just float"
<+Diss> Well yeah so far so good.
<+Diss> "False ribs are bones that look like ribs but they aren't"
<+Diss> What
<+Diss> NO
<+a_lurker|laptop> false ribs are the McRib sandwich.
<+Diss> True ribs are the top 7 that connect directly to the sternum via their own cartilage
<+Diss> False ribs don't; 8-10 connect to a common cartilage that then connects to the 7th's cartilage
<+Diss> SO they connect to the sternum indirectly
<+Diss> Floating ribs, yeah, are the last two and don't connect in the front at all
<+Diss> And are a subset of false ribs
<@CHz> Although when Diss first said that.
<@CHz> 21:00 <+Diss> "Distinguish between true, false, and floating ribs."
<@CHz> I read all three choices as nouns.
<+Diss> Hahaha
<+a_lurker|laptop> I did too
<+Xardion> I did too
<+Diss> A is greater that B
<+Diss> True or false?
<+Diss> Or FLOATING RIBS?
<@CHz> ^
<+a_lurker|laptop> ^
<+Xardion> ::answer all floating ribs::
<+a_lurker|laptop> "Does this dress make me look fat?" "uh... floating ribs"
<+Dullenplain> hahaha
<+Dullenplain> dying over here
<@CHz> This trumps all previous three-state logic systems.
<+a_lurker|laptop> Fill in the blank: The Word of God is _____ eternal.
<+a_lurker|laptop> floating ribs
<+Xardion> "They've done studies. 70% of all multiple choice answers are floating ribs."
<+Dullenplain> Name the top 5 answers to the survey question
<+Dullenplain> SURVEY SAYS
<+Dullenplain> -ding-
<+Dullenplain> floating ribs
<+Diss> AHAHAHAHA
<+Diss> Okay
<+Diss> You wanted to hear about a dumb answer
<+Diss> There's a question about the force/tension relationship of muscle
<+Diss> And what it basically means is that muscles have an optimum length where they can create the most force for a variety of reasons
<+Diss> And if it's longer or shorter than this than the force diminishes
<+Diss> So if you graph force v. length you get an upside-down looking U
<+Diss> So the question has two lines for the X and Y axis
<+Diss> Dude like
<+Diss> Assumes those are meant to be the bones of the upper arm and forearm at a 90 degree joint angle
<+Diss> Draws in a fucking biceps muscle
<+Diss> And a hand
<@CHz> ahahahahahaha
<+Denicalis> BAHAHAHA
<+YouMad> awesome
<+Diss> This is the best one I've ever seen
<+Diss> I'm writing his name down to share with the other TAs, god damn.
<+snappleman> Dude, I told you that I made that cheeseburger that uses personal pan pizzas as buns, right?
<+snappleman> that's probably the fattest thing ever :(
<+snappleman> when i first started gaining weight I was all "well I'm just a little fat, I'll have a third hot dog"
<+snappleman> then it was like "well, I'm moderately fat, I'll have a 4th slice of pizza"
<+snappleman> now it's "I'll take pizzas and make buns out of them for 2 pounds of hamburger
<+DeNAPicalis> Ahahaha.
<+DeNAPicalis> A buddy of mine just txted his fiancee: "Baby, we're on easy street. My lotto ticket hit."
<+DeNAPicalis> And she shot back with all kinds of happy girly squeeling.
<+DeNAPicalis> So he sends back: "Yeah. 4 bucks, Boo. We on easy street. Eating at Arby's tomorrow."
<+DeNAPicalis> Nothing from her since.
<+ella_guro> wow rob saunders, didn't think i'd see that name mentioned around here
< OCRGuest> why?
< OCRGuest> he some sorta jerk or something?
<+ella_guro> no
<+ella_guro> just hasnt' been around for ages
<+ella_guro> like 2002/2003 it hink
< OCRGuest> oh
< OCRGuest> he probably sucks
< OCRGuest> or is dead
< OCRGuest> or both
< OCRGuest> he sucks at being dead
<+ella_guro> then he'd be alive
< OCRGuest> no
< OCRGuest> he
< OCRGuest> er
< OCRGuest> ...
< OCRGuest> touche
< OCRGuest> you win this round ella
-!- JJT [jtitteri@97.93.109.199] has joined
< BGC> ssup jon
< BGC> how are things
< BGC> things that, ya know, involve you directly or indirectly
< BGC> me, I'm eating out of a bag of 3 musketeers
< BGC> and I gotta say, it's obnoxious
< BGC> tiny little wrappers around every tiny piece
< BGC> I wish I just had a bag of regular sized candy bars
< BGC> less effort that way
< JJT> wow
<+CHz> Department of Getting Paid to Facebook
<+CHz> fuck year
< Rambo> that was my last job
< Rambo> coupled with getting paid to play minesweeper
< Rambo> oh man. I'd always enter my coworker's name into the high score fields. owner found them one day
< Rambo> i felt pretty terrible
< inimitable> hey sixto I don't want to bother you but I sent you a PM earlier did you see it?
<+sixto> pm? on the forums?
<+Bahamut|lappy> private message
<+sixto> holy jesus
<+sixto> i have alot of unread PMs on ocr
<+Bahamut|lappy> haha
<+sixto> whoa, someone knew about my birthday
* sixto heartwarmed
< Jimmy> I think it's a shame that everybody's intent thesedays is to literally compress the entire track to 0.0 db
< Jimmy> messes up your ears, IMO
< Jimmy> and I don't mean your long-term hearing or anything
< Jimmy> I just mean your perception of volume and dynamics
< CHz> Just listen to an orchestra recording afterward to flush your ears out.
< Jimmy> ha
< CHz> "Man these flutes are way too soft, NO"
< Jimmy> lol
< Jimmy> can you PLEASE throw a maximizer on that oboe? I mean, we're almost in 20freaking10 for crying out loud
< Jimmy> I want to hear the floor RATTLE during that harp arpeggio