<@Colonel_Skills> fuck yeah rune factory 2
<@Colonel_Skills> takin' that witch woman behind the toolshed to show her my "eye of newt"
<@CHz> it's appropriate because newts are three inches long, floppy, and occasionally poisonous
<@Colonel_Skills> holy shit I fucking choked on my drink
<@Colonel_Skills> I can't ^5 enough
[+Diss] [+Capo] it's one am
[+Diss] [+Capo] holy shit lurker
[+Diss] [+Capo] what are you doing at work
[+Diss] Way to cheer her up.
[+Capo] nothing would cheer me up if it was 1 am and I was still at work
[+Capo] I'm being realistic. I sympathize.
[+Diss] Yeah but that's like walking up to someone digging a ditch on the hottest day of the year
[+Diss] "BOY SURE IS HOT TODAY HUH"
[+Diss] "SOME WEATHER WE'RE HAVING"
[+Capo] I was genuinely surprised to realize it was 1 am. Lurker probably killed herself, though. She'll have to lurk now... *sigh*... from heaven...
[+Diss] Pouring out a
[+Diss] uh
[+Diss] I don't know some toast or something.
[+Capo] pouring out a 40 of blackberry jam
[+Capo] rip
[+Capo] shit
[+Capo] it's not coming out
[+Diss] Hit the side of the jar, maybe.
[+Capo] it was such a bitch getting all that damn jelly in there, too
[+Capo] like this?
[+Capo] shit
[+Capo] nothing
[+Diss] No, god.
[+Capo] um, maybe if I used a knife?
[+Diss] Can't you do anything right?
[+Diss] Let me try.
[+Capo] here
[+Diss] Look, like this.
[+Capo] that's exactly what I was doing
[+Diss] Okay well now it's not working because you're staring.
[+Diss] Give me some room to breathe here, jesus.
[+Capo] ugh, alright, hold on
! +Capo turns around
[+Capo] go on
[+Diss] Well now I don't even want to do it anymore.
[+Diss] This is the worst pouring out of anything I've ever been involved with.
[+Capo] man, I don't even remember why we were doing it in the first place
[+Capo] you got any toast?
[+Diss] Yeah man I love toast.
[+Capo] Hell yeah. Who doesn't.
! +Capo munches
<@MervBurger> lol I love homework that involves debugging code
<@MervBurger> syntax highlighting makes finding errors easier
<@CHz> syntax highlighting get out n00b
<@CHz> Notepad for life.
<+Taco> There's no notepad on a mac, faggot
<@CHz> I run VMWare just to run Notepad.
<+Taco> Oh
<+Taco> Carry on then.
<Cheesasaurus_Rex> How does this work?
<Cheesasaurus_Rex> Is the channel a file or something
<jrick_ii> yeah
<jrick_ii> and you pipe text into it
<Cheesasaurus_Rex> I dare you to tail /dev/random into this channel
<jrick_ii> †±™kf`É–/brXó@–Ôð’ŸzìM%›Ð=ÈJw®\ó/¨÷s_”¬œ"Ñs*$‰âr+;ªV
<jrick_ii> ¢'1àãåOþr
<jrick_ii> [üm“¶uýH–•“ÜÑgÛÛêŸ;KÛ+¦¦åŠ`¹8é¡Zc•Ok¸í*¬>÷°à ºck£F!ĸ¨¼a—o
* jrick_ii (n=jrick_ii@c-98-243-242-211.hsd1.mi.comcast.net) Quit (Excess Flood)
<jrick> it's not working
<jrick> oh crap
Notes: Submitted by Iggy Koopa
<Cross|Persona4> itc: we degrade others
-irc.slacknet.org- *** Global -- from OperServ: Iggy_Koopa used SVSNICK to change Cross|Persona4 to fag
* Cross|Persona4 is now known as fag
* fag (~Winrar@slacknet-8F3AC517.prvdri.east.verizon.net) Quit ([irc.slacknet.org] Local kill by Iggy_Koopa (die))
Notes: submitted by Iggy Koopa
<Cheesasaurus_Rex> yeah, ethana2, didn't you stick a pineapple up your urethra that one time?
<ethana2> Cheesasaurus_Rex: no, only multimeter probes
<ethana2> I just wanted to measure my resistance
<ethana2> fascinating really
<pmyshkin> hahaha
<ethana2> a 3d body has a resistance
<ethana2> that doesn't vary by distance
<ethana2> because any current between two points will flow through the entire body
<ethana2> that's why you don't want to swim in a pool during a thunder storm
<Cheesasaurus_Rex> okay, seriously
<Cheesasaurus_Rex> "what the fuck"
<pmyshkin> ethan, I'll never feel bad about making fun of you again
<@Colonel_Skills> CHlKJA:LGJ
<@Colonel_Skills> god dammiay
<@Colonel_Skills> so
<@Colonel_Skills> drankihn with cowarkder and pal
<@Colonel_Skills> after wrok
<@Colonel_Skills> good guhy,
<@Colonel_Skills> likes ace comabtt
<@Colonel_Skills> played pool
<@Colonel_Skills> hda ltos of jagerbombs
<@Colonel_Skills> anyway
<@Colonel_Skills> on way home
<@Colonel_Skills> roll down the window
<@Colonel_Skills> girls pull up in another car
<@Colonel_Skills> will type slower, typos due to RAGE
<@Colonel_Skills> anyway
<@Colonel_Skills> ANYWAY
<@Colonel_Skills> A:LGKJAL:KGJA
<@Colonel_Skills> girls pull up to car at red light, roll windows down. start having conversation
<@Colonel_Skills> "Hey you getting any puss tonight" they ask. "No, story of my life".
<@Colonel_Skills> "SO WHERE YOU HEADED"
<@Colonel_Skills> "HOME"
<@Colonel_Skills> SHIT SHIT SHIT
<@Colonel_Skills> "AW YOU SHOULD COME WITH US" "No I have work tomorrow". FUCK FUCK FUCK
<+Denicalis> Dude. What the hell?
<@Colonel_Skills> I don't know
<@Colonel_Skills> it was like
<@Colonel_Skills> thirty seconds later
<@Colonel_Skills> and I was like "FUCK COCK DAMMIT"
<@Colonel_Skills> I drank JUST ENOUGH to not think things through when I talk
* CrossDragon has joined #libelldra
<IggyBot> Welcome back from leaving forever, CrossDragon! You were gone for 4days 23hrs 10mins 13secs! Are you planning on quitting forever again?
* CrossDragon has quit IRC (Fuck only 4 days, let's make this 2 weeks)
<IggyBot> CrossDragon was here for 26secs. See you in forever, CrossDragon!
Notes: submitted by Iggy_Koopa. The consequence for "quitting IRC forever".
<Iggy_Koopa> WHO'S STUPID IN HERE?
<V> me?
<V> or you
<V> flip a coin
<Iggy_Koopa> okay, IggyBot
<V> heads its me, tails its you
<Iggy_Koopa> flip a coin
* IggyBot flips a coin! Tails!
<IggyBot> waiut a second
<IggyBot> I'm an idiot
<IggyBot> I rigged that too
Notes: submitted by Iggy Koopa
·· Joins : YouMad [~Owner@PSI-DF9D0A8D.hsd1.ca.comcast.net]
[+Denicalis] LOOK OUT Q.
[+Denicalis] SHEMAD
[+Qworkie] shesad
[+Denicalis] Scottish version: ShePlaid
[+Diss] TNG version: SheJalad (at Tenagra)
[+Denicalis] I...
[+Denicalis] I want to hug you.
[+Diss] \o/
[+Denicalis] Darma. His arms wide.
[+Diss] Aahahahaha
[+Diss] ^5
[+Denicalis] ^5
[+Denicalis] No, wait. It was Temba, his arms wide, right? Yeah. Temba.
[+Denicalis] Shacka. When the walls fell. :(
<ethanbot2> (ethanbot2) I am grateful that I still have balls
<rachel1> i think im going to leave...
* rachel1 (n=chatzill@174.6.49.36) has left #colemak
<leo_rockway> ROFL
<pmyshkin> there it is
<leo_rockway> "free software is so sexist!"
<Iggy_Koopa> hahahaah
<pmyshkin> we didn't learn anything from the Linux Women HOWTO
Notes: Submitted by Iggy Koopa
<+Moth> What state are you in? You can't send someone out for beer? Because seriously I can't imagine "drunken work" being any worse than "5 am work"
<+a_worker> god damn it's more than two shifts.
<+a_worker> We're almost at 11 hours overtime
<+a_worker> moth I would rather not go out for a beer run in a campus that has NO LIGHTS ON
<+a_worker> Besides
<+a_worker> I work very poorly while drunk
<@Colonel_Skills> If you're still there after 11 extra hours
<@Colonel_Skills> you clearly work very poorly when sober too
<+Taco> Σ(ﾟДﾟ )
<@CHz> ( ﾟДﾟ)3 -(WHO GAVE YOU THIS NUMBER)
<+Taco> Σ(ﾟДﾟ ) -(sup I heard CHz was a butt)
<@CHz> ( ﾟДﾟ)3 -(actually I heard he was kind of a douchenozzle)
<+Taco> Σ(ﾟДﾟ ) -(I see, I will correct my sources)
<@CHz> ( ﾟДﾟ)3 -(hold on, I've got a call on the other line)
<@CHz> ( ﾟДﾟ)3 -[hello]
<+Taco> Σ(ﾟДﾟ ) -[sup]
<@CHz> ( ﾟДﾟ)3 -[man I dunno you called me]
<+Taco> Σ(ﾟДﾟ ) -[suuuuuuuuuuup]
<+Taco> (ﾟДﾟ )
<+Taco> ( ﾟдﾟ) -(What a butt)
<@Q-work> I want to see an FF7 remake, but only if they keep EVERYTHING besides graffix intact
<@Q-work> ::320kbs midi::
<@Q-work> ::d-pad controls only:: ::hold X to run::
<@Colonel_Work> fuck that
<@Colonel_Work> make it only controllable with sixaxis
<@Colonel_Work> I want my snowboarding minigame to be as TERRIBLE AS FUCKING POSSIBLE
<+Iago> Just give me FFVII 8-Bit.
<+Iago> Gran Chocobo A-Spec.
<@Colonel_Work> Actually they need that. Different tuning options
<@Colonel_Work> shave chocobo to cut down wind resistance
<@Colonel_Work> remove chocobo's genitals for weight reduction
<@Colonel_Work> only with forza 2's decalling
<@Colonel_Work> so you can draw a dick on the side of your chocobo
<@Colonel_Work> can turn on B spec option
<@Colonel_Work> chocobo drives itself
<@Colonel_Work> but not as well as you can clearly.
<@Colonel_Work> also eventually get chocobo license tests where you ride in a god damn circle in the rain and gotta make sure you beat a certain fucking time limit without your bird slipping
<@Colonel_Work> and then you get a god damn bronze and will never get the FUCKING SECRET CHOCOBO FOR GETTING GOLDS ON ALL YOUR GOD DAMN BIRD LICENSES BECAUSE FUCK YOU POLYPHONY I WILL RAPE YOUR GOD DAMN CHILDEN WITH A DUMPTRUCK FUCK
<@Colonel_Work> FUCKING HELL SHAVE OFF TWO TENTHS OF A SECOND FOR GOLD WHY DON'T YOU FELLATE MY GOD DAMN BALLSACK WHILE I INSERT MY ERECT PENIS INTO YOUR DEAD GRANDMAS EYE SOCKET YOU SHITEATTING FAGGOTS FUCK
<Krew> OH NO! Zero's infamous "Wire Bomb Game" has been initiated!
<Krew> Who will be the target this time???
<Krew> The suspense is RISING!!!
<Krew> =D
* Krew slaps a Wire Bomb to menofuntall's chest! He's definitely in for a WORLD of PAIN!!!
* Krew was kicked by irc.slacknet.org (Flooding (Limit is 5 lines per 7 seconds))
Notes: submitted by Iggy Koopa
< Xerol> k
< CHz> kk
< Xerol> kkm
< CHz> kkm
< Xerol> subtle
< Xerol> kkm c
< CHz> kkm cf
< Xerol> kkm cfr
< CHz> kkm cfrt
< Xerol> hmm, interesting position
< Xerol> kkm cfrt%
< Xerol> invoking pre-emptive right shift
< CHz> kkm cfrt%^
< Xerol> CRAP
< Xerol> uh uh
< Xerol> kkm cfrt%^(F6)
< CHz> Oh, the function key gambit, eh?
< Xerol> how else am i going to get in position to use capslock
< CHz> Let's make this one interesting.
< CHz> kkm cfrt%^(F6)7
< Xerol> BIG MISTAKE
< Xerol> kkm cfrt%^(F6)76
< Xerol> you didn't see the underlayer back-cross?
< CHz> You expected me to follow the chain to 5, didn't you.
< CHz> BUT
< CHz> kkm cfrt%^(F6)76(F5)
< Xerol> that's a cross-diagonal jum[
< Xerol> illegal
< CHz> You invoked pre-emptive right shift. I thought that implied we were playing under expanded rules.
< Xerol> technically F6 to 7 was illegal too but i let that slip
< Xerol> only 2004 revision C
< Xerol> cross-diagonals weren't introduced until last year
< Xerol> and since you opened with a double consonant i assumed we weren't using modern rules
< Xerol> ok fine i'll allow it
< Xerol> just to keep the game moving
< CHz> I like to follow the old ways every once in a while. Technically, the double consonant opening isn't illegal yet, but just strongly discouraged by the federation.
< Xerol> kkm cfrt%^(F6)76(F5)5
< Xerol> you still can't repstring capitals though
< CHz> kkm cfrt%^(F6)76(F5)5r
< CHz> Correct.
< Xerol> crap
< Xerol> i can't cross to g then, can i?
< Xerol> kkm cfrt%^(F6)76(F5)5rd
< Xerol> and since that opens up another vowel, i get a free turn
< Xerol> so kkm cfrt%^(F6)76(F5)5rdx
< CHz> Interesting play. Now, should I take the offensive with a move to z, or the defensive with a move to s?
< CHz> Hmm.
< Xerol> left shift's still open, z isn't too offensive
< CHz> Well, assuming you'd take the left shift, I'd be inclined to initiate the second half by breaking open the caps lock.
< Xerol> i could always dive down to left Alt though
< CHz> True. There has been some unorthodox play in this game so far.
< Xerol> except you'd be able to ride spacebar over and roll up the punctuation bonuses
< CHz> Sure, I'll take the gamble. Throw caution into the wind for a bit.
< CHz> kkm cfrt%^(F6)76(F5)5rdxz
< Xerol> hm
< Xerol> that really only leaves me with one good move
< Xerol> which isn't really that good either, because then you'd ascend in 6
< Xerol> well, that depends
< Xerol> yeah why not
< Xerol> kkm cfrt%^(F6)76(F5)5rdxzs
< CHz> Hmm, an upward fork.
< Xerol> didn't see that one, did you
< CHz> This poses an interesting dilemma.
< Xerol> well
< Xerol> a->capslock->A and i've pretty much got it locked up from there
< Xerol> since you can't repstring caps
< Xerol> well, you can escape through leftshift
< Xerol> then again if you go w, i've got about 6 options
< CHz> I'm going to try a move I saw done by Brudebaker.
< CHz> kkm cfrt%^(F6)76(F5)5rdxzse
< Xerol> oh
< Xerol> i'm an idiot
< Xerol> take your vowel bonus
< CHz> kkm cfrt%^(F6)76(F5)5rdxzse#
< Xerol> hm
< Xerol> back up top, eh
< Xerol> F4->anything is suicide
< Xerol> using my second free shift
< Xerol> kkm cfrt%^(F6)76(F5)5rdxzse#3
< CHz> Oh, an unshift. Didn't realize people still did that.
< Xerol> well it basically flops the board, doesn't it
< Xerol> now my strengths become yours, and vice versa
< Xerol> minus one escape
< Xerol> but it's hard to use that against whoever invokes the rule, it's only been pulled off twice
< Xerol> since there's no real reason to use it unless it significantly increases the presence
< Xerol> by kensington 03 analysis i gained 7C/4V
< CHz> Going up to F3 would be silly at this point, since that would lead to a simple F4->4->$ win for you.
< CHz> I believe the Fourth Edition would recommend a sacrifice move of 2 at this point.
< Xerol> that or F4
< Xerol> since i'd have to take F3
< CHz> Oh, lateral inducement. I always forget about that.
< CHz> Ooh. Hm.
< Xerol> don't make me whip out the 10 minute rule here
< CHz> kkm cfrt%^(F6)76(F5)5rdxzse#3(F2)
< Xerol> F2?
< Xerol> you're nuts
< Xerol> kkm cfrt%^(F6)76(F5)5rdxzse#3(F2)!
< Xerol> i'll give you 15m on the next move
< Xerol> dinner is revolting
< CHz> A move to ! was a costly mistake. Should've done a 1.
< CHz> kkm cfrt%^(F6)76(F5)5rdxzse#3(F2)!(esc)
< CHz> And thanks to the shift, I can run the column.
< CHz> So in total, that's kkm cfrt%^(F6)76(F5)5rdxzse#3(F2)!(esc)`(tab)(caps lock)(left shift)(left control)
< Xerol> oh god
< Xerol> hm
< Xerol> are we doing proprietary or hybrid rules?
< CHz> Hybrid, so the position is still drawable. If we were doing proprietary, I would've declared victory already.
< Xerol> well
< Xerol> so i can take (win/apple) next
< Xerol> which is a carryover anyway
< Xerol> so
< Xerol> kkm cfrt%^(F6)76(F5)5rdxzse#3(F2)!(esc)`(tab)(caps lock)(left shift)(left control)(win/apple)(left alt)
< Xerol> which leaves you with space again
< Xerol> and we'll be out in the open with capslock on
< Xerol> call a draw?
< CHz> I've been planning out an experimental cancellation of the punctuation rollover, stopping at the period instead of carrying all the way though.
< CHz> But at this point I don't have the endgame mechanics fully worked out, so I accept the draw.
< Xerol> never again.
< Xerol> at least not with extra invocation
< Xerol> next game strict rules
< Xerol> only chains allowed are vowel unlocks and triple-crosses
< NrgSpoon> WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING?
< CHz> I grew up on strict rules, but it's been ages since I've played a game with them.
< CHz> FINALLY
< Xerol> i got the last line in, so i win
< Xerol> pay up
< CHz> Damn.
< CHz> I'll win the next round of Utterly Confuse an #ocremix Member. :(
<Denicalis> My friends.
<Denicalis> I have been witness to greatness.
<Denicalis> Possibly to the greatest spectacle of all time.
<unshade> does it involve bacon
<Denicalis> Better
<Denicalis> So I'm walking home from work, cause it's fucking gorgeous out.
<Denicalis> And I hear a crash, followed by some kid in an SUV fucking SCREAMING his lungs out (I could hear him halfway down the block) "DADDYSTOPTHECARSTOPTHECARDADDYSTOPIT"
<Denicalis> So I whip around, expecting to see this kid's dad has hit someone, or a dog, or some shit.
<Denicalis> But no.
<Denicalis> Some guy INFRONT of the car has rear ended a Wal-Mart semi.
<Denicalis> And there are boxes of cadbury's mini eggs ERRRVRYWHERE.
<Dullenplain> oh man
<Dullenplain> it's like manna from heaven
<Denicalis> SUV skids to a stop.
<Denicalis> And the FATTEST KID I HAVE EVER SEEN
<Denicalis> waddles out of this SUV
<Denicalis> Like, sort of half rolls to the ground on his hands and knees.
<Denicalis> Takes off like a SPRINTER.
<Denicalis> Starts grabbing eggs.
<Boo-kun> wtfamireading
<Denicalis> Last I see until the laughing tears cloud my village is this kid with so much chocolate on his face he looks like he's in black face.
<Denicalis> Best day ever
* Radez29 has joined #gfchat
<Talec> hahahahaa oh my god
<Radez29> OH MY GOOOOOD
<Radez29> talec, hi
<Talec> DEZ you just missed the best thing.
<Denicalis> Talec. You have no idea.
<Denicalis> I was on the ground, laughing, holding my sides.
<Denicalis> My friend is staring, in utter disbelief, her jaw halfway to her waist.
<Denicalis> She summed it up later when we got home.
<Denicalis> "We just saw the internet in real life!"
< Monobrow> but I can't remember
< Vimk> He is
< XerolTop> feet
< Monobrow> but my favorite was rizbow
< XerolTop> oops
< XerolTop> wrong channel
< Vimk> european patrich stewart techno shit
< Monobrow> haha yes
< Monobrow> did you know he's like hated on a billion other sites
< Monobrow> I think there is an encyclopedia dramatic page on rizbow alone
< Vimk> Yes
< Iggy_Koopa> Monobrow: yeah
< Iggy_Koopa> RizBow was obnoxious
< Monobrow> I got no beef with him
< Iggy_Koopa> I really liked Riyonuk but he wasn't around long enough to go utterly insane
< Monobrow> I actually like watching people embarass themslevse on the internet
< Monobrow> it's really really entertaining
< Iggy_Koopa> me too :J
< CHz> Hahahahahahaha feet
< CHz> /amsg feet
< XerolTop> yeah feet and not meters
< Monobrow> I got no personal beef with bluefox either
< Monobrow> but I can understand other people's sentiments
< XerolTop> oh damnit this is still the wrong channel
< Iggy_Koopa> yeah
< Iggy_Koopa> like
< Monobrow> I CAN UNDERSTAND GUYS
< CHz> ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
< Monobrow> the only person I have a beef with on the internet currently is sixto anyway
< Monobrow> god that guy is annoying
< sixto> oh
< sixto> i see
< Monobrow> oh shit
< Monobrow> I forgot you were in here
< sixto> right
< sixto> right
< Monobrow> wanna play guitar randomly on this FFIV track
< sixto> riiight
< Monobrow> I didn't mean it sixto
< Monobrow> I actually meant snappleman
< Monobrow> you know, those s names
< Monobrow> and tab
< sixto> sure
< Monobrow> blame tab
< sixto> ok
< CHz> Heck yeah random guitar.
< CHz> Don't worry about key or tempo.
< Monobrow> seriously
< Monobrow> can I have like five wavs of random guitar
< Monobrow> to just put into my songs uncredited
< Monobrow> adds nice atmosphere you know?
< Monobrow> play me some november rain
< XerolTop> well i mean it's a factor of 3.28
< Monobrow> LOL
< XerolTop> that's not a minor difference
< CHz> Hi Xerol.
< Monobrow> xerol
< Monobrow> lol
< Monobrow> what channel is this supposed to go into
< Monobrow> lol
< Iggy_Koopa> Xerol are you still in the wrong channel
< Monobrow> sixto
< XerolTop> $40 is a good price for 1000 meters, not so much for 1000 feet
< sixto> Monobrow?
< Monobrow> do you wanna see elton john doing nothing while playing the piano for guns and roses november rain live
< Monobrow> he's just sitting there playing piano
< Monobrow> he doesn't even sing
< sixto> no thanks
< XerolTop> HOW THE HELL DOES THIS KEEP GETTING FOCUS OVER SKYPE
< Monobrow> are you mad at me
< fivre> Wrong channel is a metaphor for Xerol's life
< sixto> i have no problem with you
< Monobrow> sixto
< Monobrow> why you mad.... me?
< sixto> yes?
< Monobrow> sixto.....
< Monobrow> why you mad.....
< Monobrow> me?
< snappleman> sixto, dont be mad, dude
< XerolTop> hang on i'll call you back on the desktop, mirc keeps taking focus
Krelian: now everything's ruined, woahh, now everything's ruined, woahh, now everything's ruined, woahh, now everything's ruined, woahh - mike patton
a_lurker: Truer words never spoken *furious bong noises*
Capo|fallout: hahahahaha
Krelian: lmao furious bong noises
Krelian: i'm cracking up here
Capo|fallout: so am I and I was supposed to be gone
Krelian: im just picturing this really angry stoner
Krelian: bellowing into his bong
Dull-work: it's a digeridoo
a_lurker: FUCK DIS *TOKE*
Capo|fallout: angry stoner was a character in this sketch comedy group I was in
Krelian: BLBLBLBLBLBRAAAAAHHHHHBLBLBLBLBLBBLB
<+Denicalis> "You're fired." *three weeks later a call in* "Hey boss, I quit."
<+Benjamin> ^
<+Benjamin> I'm totally going to do that.
<+Benjamin> Actually.
<+Benjamin> I have done that.
<+Benjamin> But like two days later.
<+Benjamin> (they offered me my job back and I said no)
<+Denicalis> I still say the best rage-quit I ever saw was my buddy walking in, sitting down, playing take this job and shove it while refusing to let his boss talk until it was over.
<+Denicalis> He then stood up, flipped him off, and walked out.
<+Denicalis> Not a word exchanged.
<+Diss> I think I've seen the best passive-aggressive-quit ever.
<+Diss> So my friend's dad was muscled out of his job as the head manager of this supermarket where a bunch of my friends worked.
<+Diss> A couple of them quit immediately in protest, a couple more stuck around since they needed the money.
<+Diss> But, inevitably, they all eventually left.
<+Diss> Except one.
<+Diss> He hated the new boss, hated the place since everyone left, but couldn't justify leaving.
<+Diss> One morning, he had a change of heart.
<+Diss> He woke up, and realized that he didn't feel like going to work that day. Or, ever again.
<+Diss> Gets out of bed, walks to the answering machine, hits record.
<+Diss> "Hey, you've reached Loran. If this is work, I quit." Goes back to bed.
<+Diss> An hour later, half an hour after he was supposed to start, he hears his phone ring.
<+Diss> The machine goes off. He smiles, and goes back to sleep.
<+Diss> ~Fin~
<robsteele> nobody in the rest of the world has the problem you have
<robsteele> so therefore the problem must be with you
<bluefox> robsteele: I've formed the opinion that the whole world is broken, no exceptions.
<robsteele> i don't even fucking drive and i know that if you slam your brakes, shit will fly
Notes: Submitted by Iggy Koopa
<pmyshkin> wow, Princess Bride is very very highly ranked
<ethana2> pmyshkin: of course
<ethana2> it's only the best movie /evar/
<Cheesasaurus_Rex> yeah, there's no doubt ethana2 is homosexual now
<pmyshkin> it's okay, that movie wasn't that gay
<ethana2> 50% of the stuff in any given Hot Topic?
<ethana2> Princess Bride
<pmyshkin> Hot Topic?
<pmyshkin> why do you know what Hot Topic carries?
<Cheesasaurus_Rex> he's got you there
Notes: Submitted by Iggy Koopa
<ethana2> leo_rockway: I do not hate gay people
<ethana2> leo_rockway: I hate what they do
<leo_rockway> ethana2: why?
<ethana2> leo_rockway: ...just as I hate to see Macs running Windows
<ethana2> for the same reason
<ethana2> it just takes the beauty out of something when you use it that way
< Bigblah> during class last night
< Bigblah> a group presented their real-time systems project
< Bigblah> it was a security system with sensors and stuff
< Bigblah> it would continuously poll sensors and lock the doors if an intruder was detected in a room
< Bigblah> unlock the doors if a fire was detected
< Bigblah> a guy on the review panel asked
< Bigblah> "if an intruder was locked in a room, what happens if he starts a fire"
< Bigblah> best
< Bigblah> question
< Bigblah> ever
<@Colonel_Skills> I'm still waiting for the day one of these skateboarding games lets you actually break your spine
<@Colonel_Skills> then there's a minigame sequence in there where you're learning how to walk again
<@Colonel_Skills> A B A B A B like track and field running on now you're on a fucking treadmill
<@Colonel_Skills> and it has scenes in between of you and your family crying trying not to show each other how sad they are that you no longer have a future in athletics
<@Colonel_Skills> and how you're going ot need a walker for the rest of your life
<@Colonel_Skills> but then
<@Colonel_Skills> to pay the hospital bill?
<@Colonel_Skills> ONLY WAY YOU KNOW HOW
<@Colonel_Skills> EARN MONEY BY SKATING
<@Colonel_Skills> so you're skating with a walker and oh god it'd be fantastic
<@zircon> so for 1. i want it to be a vintage kit (which it is) tuned to be tight, low, and phat (which i hope it will be)
<+DrumUltimA> i like the idea of tuning something to "phat"
<+CHz> if only all instruments were like that
<+Lukas> guitar: E A D G B Phat
<+CHz> ::lifts piano cover, tunes strings to phat::
<+DrumUltimA> piccolos, at measure 36 watch your intonation... it's a little phat
<D-Lux> GODAMNIT STOP SETTING OFF MY HIGHLIGHT
<Iggy_Koopa> What highlight
<Iggy_Koopa> What are you talking about
<D-Lux> I'm taking king off highlight
<GSlicer> ...
<The_Orichalcon> hahahahaha
<The_Orichalcon> you loser
<GSlicer> pretty up yourself there
Notes: submitted by Iggy Koopa
Aetherius: remember the time djp was going to accuse me of pirating software, and then I accused him of being unamerican? Yeah...good times.
Iggy_Koopa: no, I don't
djp_semiaway: no
Iggy_Koopa: When was this?
Aetherius: It was the other day, when I was pirating software...
<Ruesap> do you ever wonder what it would be like to face fantasty in an rpg
<Ruesap> "i lost imo"
<Ruesap> "die tbh"
<Iggy_Koopa> I killed Fantasty in NCRPG
<Fantasty> Do I really use imo and tbh that often?
<Fantasty> lol iggy cheated imo
<Ruesap> <_<
<Fantasty> >___>
Notes: submitted by Iggy Koopa
<wahrheit> anyone want to see a skydiver die upon impact?
<Residual> seen enough death
<wahrheit> Residual, I have not seen enough.
<Residual> that was fast
<Residual> like insaely fast reply
<wahrheit> hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
<Francesca> ...
<wahrheit> That's my seen script
Notes: submitted by Iggy Koopa
<+Qworkie> also I started zelda 2 last night
<+Qworkie> f yeah.....
<+Qworkie> it is such a troll game though
<+Qworkie> I start making my way through a cave, a swamp and a forest to finally reach saria
<+Qworkie> random encounters, dick enemies, life bar has like 1mm left or so
<+Qworkie> another random encounter, manage to exit without getting hit
<+Qworkie> reach town
<+Qworkie> talk to first woman
<+Qworkie> need to heal
<+Qworkie> "sorry, don't know anything"
<+Qworkie> WOMAN TURNS INTO BAT
<+Qworkie> KILLS ME
<+Qworkie> GAME OVER
<+Qworkie> RESTART FROM ZELDA'S TEMPLE
<+Qworkie> I lold and raged
<leo_rockway> I never met anybody with asperger
<Cheesasaurus_Rex> I'm pretty sure ethana2 has it
<leo_rockway> ethana2: if somebody asked you a stupid question would you tell that person their question is stupid?
<ethana2> leo_rockway: no
<ethana2> I'd attempt to parse it
<ethana2> I'd kind of look down
<ethana2> and my face would be in a frown
<ethana2> and I'd try to crunch the question
<ethana2> probably ask for clarification after a couple seconds
<ethana2> I think I'm doing a lot better with eye contact lately
<ethana2> particularly while listening
<Cheesasaurus_Rex> ethana2, have you used your fleshlight again recently?
<ethana2> Cheesasaurus_Rex: just about to get to that actually
<Cheesasaurus_Rex> yeah
<leo_rockway> Cheesasaurus_Rex: ok, you're right
Notes: submitted by Iggy Koopa
<princess> bluefox you speak my language
<princess> YOU ARE MEL GIBSON
<bluefox> princess you speak english
<princess> YOU KNOW WHAT WE WANT
<bluefox> though sometimes I think the native language of this channel is 'dumbass'
<Zach> no wonder you speak it so fluently
<CHz> doodie
<princess> booger
Notes: submitted by Iggy Koopa
<princess> I have no idea what you're takling about, but I'd have to say the moment I realized I didn't like you is when you whined about your parents making you buy a car
<bluefox> I should have walked out of that
<bluefox> hindsight's a bitch
<bluefox> I want a do-over for the last 10 years
<bluefox> Hell I'll settle for the last 5
<bluefox> How about the last 2?
<bluefox> There's only one thing I really want
<bluefox> oh well. The world doesn't work like that. My fault, now I have to live with it. I'm going to bed.
<Zach> fuck you forever
Notes: submitted by Iggy Koopa
<Iggy_Koopa> THE GAME is THE GAME is THE GAME is THE GAME is THE GAME is THE GAME is THE GAME is THE GAME is THE GAME is THE GAME is THE GAME is THE GAME is THE GAME is THE GAME is THE GAME is THE GAME is THE GAME is THE GAME is THE GAME is THE GAME is THE GAME is THE GAME is THE GAME
<menofuntall> DAMNIT
<menofuntall> WHY DO I OPEN THIS WINDOW OUT OF CURIOUSITY
Notes:
submitted by Iggy Koopa
The Game
<Nigelenki> jesus
<Nigelenki> <windows> hmm the SD card looks empty. And write protected
<Nigelenki> <windows> Sorry, I have no fucking clue how to operate an SD card reader.
<Nigelenki> <linux> I don't have a driver.
<Nigelenki> <me> FUCK YOU ALL
<Nigelenki> somebody get me a mac.
<Iggy_Koopa> a big mac?
<wahrheit> he already eats those 3 meals a day
Notes: submitted by Iggy Koopa
<Nigelenki> why the hell am I drinking this beer?
<Nigelenki> I mean, it's ... good. o_o
<Nigelenki> except I usually can't stand beer. It's like taking a screw driver in the face
<Zach> nigel did you talk to a shrink
<Nigelenki> Zach: the hell is that your business?
<Nigelenki> Did you suck a cock?
<Zach> nigel being a dick won't make you less insane
Notes: Submitted by Iggy Koopa
<leo_rockway> why didn't you ask before buying?
<ethana2> leo_rockway: they said they'd send one package
<ethana2> I didn't find out about package 2 until I went to track it after it shipped
<leo_rockway> ethana2: maybe they sent you two fleshlights
<ethana2> I only paid for one
<leo_rockway> did you click on "threesome"?
Notes: Submitted by Iggy Koopa
<Colesaur> why dont you just meet some people for sex through craig's list. they'd probably pay you even
<ethana2> eww, no
<leo_rockway> Colesaur: he's christian
<Colesaur> lonelyboy16, has toys.
<ethana2> it's just a shame they made the wiimote so fricking big
Notes: Submitted by Iggy Koopa
chz16: Why do you use filesharing sites that no one has ever heard of.
IggyKoop: The ones nobody has ever heard of tend to have no waiting time
IggyKoop: Also, no ads.
chz16: Man there are ads all over the place.
IggyKoop: It's not as bad as Megaupload where you have to jump through a hoop and recite the first hundred digits of pi backwards
chz16: At the same time?
IggyKoop: No, that's Rapidshare
chz16: zing
<&Colonel_Skills> did I tell you about the friend who thought she was passing a kidney stone but accidentally popped out a kid
<+Denicalis> Gothapotamus?
<&Colonel_Skills> no, bitch is actually quite skinny. I've known her for a gazillion years though, and she's pretty airheaded.
<&Colonel_Skills> didn't know she was pregnant. Didn't look it. Looked like maybe she gained ten pounds during thanksgiving or something.
<&Colonel_Skills> but that's about it
<&Colonel_Skills> goes to Hawaii to visit grandparents.
<&Colonel_Skills> without her boyfriend.
<&Colonel_Skills> In pain one night, goes to toilet, BAM
<&Colonel_Skills> out comes a kid.
<+Jessykins> How the fuck does that happen
<+Jessykins> Who are these women that can do this
<&Colonel_Skills> Fuck if I know. My friends are all idiots.
<&Colonel_Skills> calls up her boyfriend at 3 AM. "Hey guess what"
<&Colonel_Skills> she phones me and my stepmom like 4 hours later. "ALOHA" is how she starts the conversation. I swear to God, this woman is an imbecile. It's fantastic.
<+Denicalis> Good god.
<+Jessykins> Aloha is hawaiian for I just had a baby in the toilet
<+Lukas> don't you guys know the comeback to that??
<+Lukas> the comeback to the old "my mother is dead.." trick?
<@GeoffreyTaucer> my comeback is always
<@GeoffreyTaucer> "yeah, I fucked her too hard"
<+Lukas> yeah exactly
<+Lukas> though mine is more simply, "Well of course she's dead NOW..."
<+Lukas> yaya!
<@F4T4L> no, it's always "oh cool, yours too?"
<@F4T4L> and then I put my hand up for a high-five
<+Lukas> heh that reminds me of this star wars convention, like during the winter party or something
<+Lukas> no no actually
<+Lukas> it was halloween
<+Lukas> and this guy was dressed as "Bananakin Skywalker" (use your imagination)
<+Lukas> and there was a george lucas question&answer period
<+Lukas> so friggen Bananakin Skywalker gets up and says,
<+Lukas> "So, when Jedi die in the movies, it's really inconsistent. Sometimes they go up in a big fwoosh and disappear, but sometimes they just lie there...
<+Lukas> (short pause)
<+Lukas> "...so when YOU die, which will it be!?"
<+Lukas> so george just kinda stands there for a bit, then says
<+Lukas> "..I'll probably just lie there."
< snappleman_not_erect> sometimes I feel like I'm just a tight wet slippery hole and nothing more
< Ashamee> Oh, poor baby
* robsteele hugs snapple :(
< Monobro> that's my favorite porno line ever
< snappleman_not_erect> my fave is from my very first porno back in the early 90s
< snappleman_not_erect> gangster catches some dude in his house, his wife says "he fucked me up the ass, tony! smell his cock!"
< Monobro> haha
< snappleman_not_erect> never forgot it
< snappleman_not_erect> I think it made me who I am today